33. Removing the Feeding Tube–The Decision is Made

 

When the feeding tube was inserted into Mother’s stomach, she was also placed under Hospice Care. It is difficult for me to remember all the details at the time, but for some reason Hospice agreed to accept Mother with a feeding tube, as one of their patients, even though I don’t think they normally do.

Once she was admitted into the Hospice Unit in the hospital, however, the nurses began to talk to us about removing the feeding tube. For me, it was not a difficult decision. It was time for the feeding tube to go. She had told us that she was tired and ready to die. I had accepted her passing as something inevitable and should not be delayed by a feeding tube, especially when she was in a semi-comatose state.

For my sister, Susan, however, this decision was much more difficult. Susan had spent hours and hours with Mother at the nursing home, talking to her and caring for her. Even though Mother’s conversational abilities had been limited or nonexistent, she had been Susan’s best friend and confidante. Susan was having a hard time letting her go. I understand. If I had been in Susan’s place, I would have probably felt the same way.

After Mother’s doctor talked to Susan, she finally agreed to allow the feeding tube to be removed on the second day of Mother’s hospital stay. It was very hard on Susan. There was no way we could make it easier for her. As much as we wanted to, there was nothing we could say or do that would comfort Susan.