Setting Boundries

Amy is a minister’s wife and up until she received her cancer diagnosis, was a Mary Kay director.  Because of her ‘people’ personality, she has many friends who know and love her.  She has always been easily accessible by phone and has always welcomed people into her home.

However, when she received her cancer diagnosis, I witnessed a change in her accessibility which I initially respected, but have come to admire.  Amy decided that she could not repeatedly talk to everyone who called about her cancer.  She could not welcome every guest who wanted to drop by to express their concern.   She knew that her number one priority was to beat cancer and conserving her physical and emotional strength is a necessary part of her recovery.

Therefore she seldom answers the phone or doorbell.  She answers emails when she feels like it, and she keeps a journal on caringbridge.com.  If a church member wanted to support Amy and Brent with food, they coordinated it with one person rather that just dropping it by the house.

Let me be clear here. It is not that Amy is shutting people out of her life.  She does talk to people, but she does it on her own terms, i.e., when she has the strength, or when it is convenient.   She keeps people up to date on how she is feeling and how her treatment is going by way of  journal entries.  Amy is still just as much a people person as before, and she totally appreciates all the cards, emails, comments left on Caringbridge, and so many other ways support and love is shown to her.

I appreciate  Amy setting this type of example for us.  We do not have to be a ‘slave’ to the telephone and doorbell.  We do not have to let it drain our emotional and physical strength.  We can choose to walk down the path of cancer or serious illness at least to some extent on our own terms.  We can choose to do what is best for us.

You go, Amy!

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The Pink Trailer

Hearing the big “C” word is devastating for any family, but it is particularly so when the diagnosis comes to a young mother of  four young children.  Amy has bilateral breast cancer – stage 3.  She was diagnosed in October and has had to this date, three chemo treatments.  She is facing a series of chemo, surgery, more chemo, more surgery, more chemo and then reconstructive surgery.  It will be a long painful process.  Amy’s husband is a minister in our community and their four children are ages  6 and under.  Brent has been an awesome husband and daddy, taking care of Amy and the children.  Their church has provided a lot of support in terms of food, cleaning, babysitting, etc.

I have several purposes for sharing her story with you.  First of all, I ask you to pray for Amy, Brent, and the children.  Pray that God will heal Amy’s body.  She is a precious, Godly woman and has been a blessing in many lives.  She wants to be able to see her children grow up.  Pray that God will give Brent the day to day strentgth he will need to meet the day to day challenges which will be coming his way for many months to come.  Pray for the children because this is very hard on them as well.

Secondly, I want to tell you about the Pink Trailer.  I think this is the most wonderful idea to help Brent and Amy with medical expenses.  Please understand that I put little to nothing about donations on this blog.  Experience has taught me to be skeptical first and then trusting second.  Well, here I am very trusting.  I encourage you to log on to  http://pinktrailer.blogspot.com

This website shares the details of a precious 1973 Shasta compact trailer which has been done in pink—so very fitting since Amy is in Mary Kay.  This trailer is being raffled at $5.00 a ticket.  Check it out!

I will be writing more about Amy soon.  She is an amazing woman.  I have learned several things from her about handling the emotional aspects of this disease.