I Need to Sit On the P-O-T

Mom, my grandmother, has always had a wonderful sense of humor. During her better days at this hospital, she has kept all of us grinning and chuckling with her funny remarks and sayings. I just had to share some of them with you.

My sister, Darla, wrote about two events: Mom awakened me several times during the night so I was groggy. Then she said something in her newly acquired extra craggy voice, “I need (unintelligible).” I said, “What?” She repeated the again unintelligible line and again I said, “What, Mom?” In frustration she said, “P-O-T” Oh, I got it. I began to look for the call button and said, “OK. As soon as I find the nurse’s t-h-i-n-g.’  She laughed.

Again, Darla wrote: Mom got a suppository. After having a BM and being repositioned in bed, she said, “My rectum burns.” I replied, “On the outside or the inside?”, thinking that perhaps the nurses had missed something while wiping her.  She said, “On the inside.  That’s where the rectum is!”  This time we laughed.

Since having the NG tube down her throat, she has been continually spitting up.  The nurse  felt like the secretions were just saliva collecting in her mouth as a result of not swallowing because of the irritation to her throat from the tube. Mom can swallow, its just uncomfortable.  The nurse got her something that would numb her throat and we began to talk to her about just swallowing ‘all that stuff’.  She said, “Swallow that nasty stuff?”  We told her that was what she needed to do, and she agreed to do it.

Later that evening I noticed a very serious look on her face.  I asked her to tell me was things about.  She replied, “First, I spit it up and then I swallow that darn stuff.”  Then she turned to look at me and said, “I say cuss words ever once in a while.”  LOL moment.  She then remarked, “My daddy would spank my bottom if he heard me say that.”  So very funny.

At the present time, we are challenging her digestive system one more time with liquid food going into her stomach via the NG tube.  If all goes well and she is able to move her bowels, then she will be on the road to recovery, and will begin again to eat solid foods.  If not, then we will begin to talk about Hospice.  At the moment we are still in a holding pattern waiting to see if her little frail body will overcome this the toughest battle of her life.

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Together, Again

After the Hospice nurse left, I stayed to help further settle Daddy in for his first night in the nursing home.  This was all so surreal.  Both my parents in a nursing home? How on earth did this happen?  It has all been so quick and so slow at the same time.

We had Daddy’s bed on one side of the room and Mother’s bed on the other with their recliners side by side in the middle. We wanted to put their beds side by side, but, for several reasons, we were unable to arrange it that way.

I remember this moment like it was yesterday.  I sat on the bed beside Daddy, doing something.  Can’t remember exactly what.  Ok so I don’t remember everything about this moment.  Anyway, Mother said, “Pat, what are you doing?”  “Debbie, he is standing up!”  “Debbie, he is walking!”

Yes, Daddy stood up with no assistance and started walking.  I said, “Daddy, what are you doing?”  He walked around me over to Mother.  He said, “I’m going to give Mama a kiss.”  With that comment he leaned over and kissed her, and then walked back and sat down beside me on his bed.  As far as I know that was the last time he walked alone.

This was one of those bitter sweet moments.

A little while later I got ready to leave.  Mother was in her bed, and Daddy was in his.  As I walked out the door, he said, “Sugar, thank you for all you have done for us.  We appreciate it.”

Yep. I needed a good cry that night.

Our Imaginary Sister

One day soon after Mother went to the nursing home, she had a couple of visitors.  Mother was sitting in the foyer talking to them. No, they were talking to her.  A nurse came to Mother and said, “Your daughter, ______, called and said she will be here in a few minutes.” Mother, having one of her more lucid days, said, “I don’t have a daughter named _____.” In a few minutes my sister walked in, and Mother’s guests began to ask her questions such as, “Hey, where is _______?” “Why didn’t you bring ______?” “______is supposed to be with you.”

From that moment and for the next several months we had an imaginary sister named _______.  She was the one that did everything wrong.  She was always forgetful and always late.  She became the butt of our jokes and we were pretty cruel to her.  Good thing she wasn’t real.

There was a problem, however.  Daddy was not at all happy when he heard about our new sister.  You see, we have another ______ in the family.  A real one.  Daddy was afraid that our jokes would get back to her family.  We were very selective about who knew about _______.

I just remembered my son-in-law’s advice: “Don’t write anything you don’t want the whole world to read.” hmmmmmmm I just decided to go back up and take out the name of our imaginary sister.  I guess you can just use your imagination and fill in the blanks for yourself!

Spell Cussing

I have mentioned ‘Spell Cussing’ in other posts and it will be in future posts. It is time tell more of the story of ‘Spell Cussing’.

As mentioned before, I told my brother-in-law, ” I can’t say this but I can spell it.  Daddy looks like s.h.i.t”.  On another day I told Darla, “This day has been h.e.l.l.” (there were many of those).

Her response to me was,  “See what this has brought you to?  Here you are Spell Cussing! You have never in your life Spell Cussed and now just look! You are Spell Cussing!’  To which we both had a good laugh.

More Spell Cussing to come.

Light Moments in the Midst of Dark Days

I have added a category to this blog. It has to do with the use of humor in times of crisis and trouble. Humor and laughter were more than a stress relievers for us. It gave us a diversion. It was something else about which we could talk besides the huge weight we were carrying. There were times we laughed at things that were not funny; things that others would think were actually pitiful, and sometimes we just made up things to laugh at. Why not? We were already doing plenty of crying. The humor just helped to balance things out.

From time to time I will have posts under this category. However, I know that you, my readers, will have things you would like to share. Do you have something humorous that happened in the midst of great sadness, and loss? If so, please feel free to share it.