It was April 10, 2005 when my sister called to tell me that Mother was very ill. I wrote about the details of Mother’s final days in previous posts, and will not rewrite them here.
When Mother was transported to the Hospice Unit at Hendrick Hospital, her doctor, the nurses, my sisters and I began the discussion of deciding whether the time had come to remove Mother’s feeding tube. At the time I was in favor of it, removing the tube, that is.
In my opinion, her body was already dying and the feeding tube was getting in the way of that process. She was ready to die. Her mind and body had declined to the point that she could do nothing for herself. Her hands. I remember her hands had curled at the wrists and could not be straightened. Her neck had ‘frozen’ in a sideways position from not having the strength to hold her head up. It was so sad.
As I have previously written, Darla agreed with me. My other sister didn’t, but finally relented. The tube was removed.
In the process of writing the most recent posts on feeding tubes, I thought about what might have happened if we had left the feeding tube in. She would have definitely lived a few more days, perhaps weeks, depending on whether or not she overcame the infection. She would have been returned to the nursing home.
Our concern was that we could tell she was in pain. Returning her to the nursing home would mean that she would not be able to have the same level of pain control as she would in the hospital. We may have been wrong about that assumption, but nevertheless, that was our understanding. The bottom line was that we did not want her to be in any more pain than necessary and leaving the feeding tube in meant that she was going have to suffer longer.
Therefore, we had it removed.