It has been a summer to remember; a summer that has challenged my physical and emotional stamina. School is beginning again and things have almost setted down – almost.
On June 9, my precious grandmother fell. Up until that day she lived at home and did fairly well for someone who is 98 years old. That day, however, was a ‘game changer’. The circumstances of the fall made evident the fact tmhat she could no longer live at home. She fell during the middle of the night and lay in the floor for several hours. Oh, yes. She had a ‘lifeline’ bracelet on her wrist. She decided not to call them because she knew the paramedics would take her to the hospital. Sigh. Well, her main injury was broken ribs. She spent a week in the hospital.
When I received the call that she had fallen, I was teaching music in Vacation Bible School at my church. I immediately left, packed my suitcase and drove to her home, which is two hours from my house.
Mom, at the age of 98, has outlived most of her family. She has buried two sons, a husband, and all of her brothers and sisters. I am the oldest grandchild, and the one who has received the mantle of caring for her. Though this is no small task, I count it to be a privilege and blessing. I don’t know if I can put into words what she means to me and how much I love her.
I will be sharing in the next few posts what I have learned from her this summer.
We are never happy with this kind of ending to valiant battles waged against any terminal illness. Our church prayed for Wayne. We prayed first that initial diagnosis would be something other than cancer. It wasn’t. We prayed that God would miraculously heal Wayne. We thought at first that He did, but He didn’t. We prayed that the chemo and radiation would work. We thought at first that it did, but it didn’t. Finally, we prayed that God would be merciful and keep Wayne comfortable. He did, and He took Wayne home just a few days ago, leaving a huge hole in our hearts, and our church.
We don’t understand why it has to be that way. As our pastor said, we just know that God is still a loving God, and he cares for us in so many ways. We were all blessed as we watched Wayne’s courage in the midst of his fear and pain. We saw him share his faith in miraculous ways to people that he would not normally have even known.
Yes, we are sad and we miss him tremendously, but we know that for him, life is so much better. Because now he is standing tall and whole, because his pain is erased, because we know Wayne has seen His face, we would never want him to leave heaven. No, not at all.
Writing this post about Wayne is not easy and I have been putting it off for quite a while. Wayne’s cancer is once again active and though it has not spread throughout his body, he is suffering from the effects of the disease. The cancer has spread to the duodenum and is causing him to be nauseated and throw up bile many times a day. The doctors put in stints to help give him some relief, with some measure of success. However, he continues to lose weight and become more frail. He was in considerable pain, but a few days ago the doctors clipped some nerves and the pain is, at this time, no longer a major issue.
Wayne’s children and brothers and sisters have gathered to minister to him, and our church is continually lifting them up in prayer, as well as providing food for the family. As Wayne, his wife, and family walk down this path, they look to our Lord for strength equal to their days, and peace beyond measure.
I will be sharing more soon.
If you haven’t checked out the PINK TRAILER that is being raffled on February 14, please log on to this website: http://pinktrailer.blogspot.com
The proceeds from this raffle will be used to help Amy and her family meet the financial challenges that accompany cancer treatment. It is a great trailer and a great cause. The tickets for the drawing are only $5.00. As I mentioned in previous posts, I seldom personally endorse fund raising efforts unless I personally know the people involved and are sure they are trustworthy.
Amy is preparing physically, emotionally, and spiritually for her first surgery. She shares in her journal her fears, her concerns, her hopes, and her faith. Amy has been a Mary Kay director and has well learned some of the life lessons presented to us as we learn ‘how to sell lipstick’. One of the many aspects of being part of Mary Kay is learning how to set goals and understanding what we need to to do to reach them. This lesson has not been lost on Amy.
She is very focused on what she personally needs to do in order to reach her goal of living to see her children grow up and being a part of their lives as they do so. She knows that she must endure very difficult chemo treatments and a series of surgeries and then more chemo. She understands that she must focus on doing whatever it takes to get well. She is doing just that.
I am so very proud of you Amy. I know that Mary Kay would be proud of you as well.
Amy is a minister’s wife and up until she received her cancer diagnosis, was a Mary Kay director. Because of her ‘people’ personality, she has many friends who know and love her. She has always been easily accessible by phone and has always welcomed people into her home.
However, when she received her cancer diagnosis, I witnessed a change in her accessibility which I initially respected, but have come to admire. Amy decided that she could not repeatedly talk to everyone who called about her cancer. She could not welcome every guest who wanted to drop by to express their concern. She knew that her number one priority was to beat cancer and conserving her physical and emotional strength is a necessary part of her recovery.
Therefore she seldom answers the phone or doorbell. She answers emails when she feels like it, and she keeps a journal on caringbridge.com. If a church member wanted to support Amy and Brent with food, they coordinated it with one person rather that just dropping it by the house.
Let me be clear here. It is not that Amy is shutting people out of her life. She does talk to people, but she does it on her own terms, i.e., when she has the strength, or when it is convenient. She keeps people up to date on how she is feeling and how her treatment is going by way of journal entries. Amy is still just as much a people person as before, and she totally appreciates all the cards, emails, comments left on Caringbridge, and so many other ways support and love is shown to her.
I appreciate Amy setting this type of example for us. We do not have to be a ’slave’ to the telephone and doorbell. We do not have to let it drain our emotional and physical strength. We can choose to walk down the path of cancer or serious illness at least to some extent on our own terms. We can choose to do what is best for us.
You go, Amy!
Hearing the big “C” word is devastating for any family, but it is particularly so when the diagnosis comes to a young mother of four young children. Amy has bilateral breast cancer – stage 3. She was diagnosed in October and has had to this date, three chemo treatments. She is facing a series of chemo, surgery, more chemo, more surgery, more chemo and then reconstructive surgery. It will be a long painful process. Amy’s husband is a minister in our community and their four children are ages 6 and under. Brent has been an awesome husband and daddy, taking care of Amy and the children. Their church has provided a lot of support in terms of food, cleaning, babysitting, etc.
I have several purposes for sharing her story with you. First of all, I ask you to pray for Amy, Brent, and the children. Pray that God will heal Amy’s body. She is a precious, Godly woman and has been a blessing in many lives. She wants to be able to see her children grow up. Pray that God will give Brent the day to day strentgth he will need to meet the day to day challenges which will be coming his way for many months to come. Pray for the children because this is very hard on them as well.
Secondly, I want to tell you about the Pink Trailer. I think this is the most wonderful idea to help Brent and Amy with medical expenses. Please understand that I put little to nothing about donations on this blog. Experience has taught me to be skeptical first and then trusting second. Well, here I am very trusting. I encourage you to log on to http://pinktrailer.blogspot.com
This website shares the details of a precious 1973 Shasta compact trailer which has been done in pink—so very fitting since Amy is in Mary Kay. This trailer is being raffled at $5.00 a ticket. Check it out!
I will be writing more about Amy soon. She is an amazing woman. I have learned several things from her about handling the emotional aspects of this disease.
You know them. I know them. Perhaps your family is one of them. Families who have been touched by cancer. I think that having small children would make having cancer more difficult. Not only is just doing the every day tasks more difficult, but the emotional facet of perhaps not seeing your children grow up must be factored into the stress of the situation.
Of course, that is not to say that having cancer is any easier for those of us who have grown children. There are always grandchildren we would like to see grow into adulthood. Yes. Cancer is difficult for everyone.
We are not given a choice in life about what diseases we will and won’t have. Our genetics and lifestyle can and will influence our health, but for the most part we just don’t get to choose. Famlies are part of the illness and the recovery.
As we pray for the folks in our lives who are will, don’t forget to pray for their families.
As you know, Wayne was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The location of his tumor was actually behind and attached to the pancreas. He has been through radiation and is still taking chemo. His tumor has shrunk to the point that it was invisible on a CT scan. It can be seen when a scope is done, but is very small. He has had some pain and the doctor has permanently deadened some nerves around the pancreas. He will continue this chemo treatments for a few more weeks and see the doctor again.
All things considered, Wayne is doing great. We are so very thankful for God’s graciousness and healing power.
A few months ago, I wrote about my friend, Kay. She had been diagnosed with an agressive form of bladder cancer. She was given a couple of years to live. Even though she battled with chemo and radiation treatments, putting her cancer into remission was not to be. She passed away this week about 18 months after her diagnosis. She leaves behind her husband, a daughter, and two sons.
The one of the especially sad aspects of Kay’s situation was that approximately six weeks ago, Kay’s father passed away with cancer. Kay’s mother lost both a husband and a daughter in less than two months. I can not comprehend what must be the depth of her grief.
In August I went back to my teaching career. There were several reasons for returning to the classroom, all of them financial. However, when I decided to go back to work full time, working with special needs children, I decided to have a good attitude about the change in my life. Yes, I enjoyed my time at home, being a Mary Kay director, caring for my husband when he broke his ankles and help my grandmother recover from her life threatening illness. Yes. it was very good, but that season of my life is over….at least for now.
No, I don’t care for having to get up and get out of the house early in the morning, and not everything is great about teaching, but God has provided an excellent position in a wonderful school. He has give me two wonderful aides, and precious children to teach. Watching these children learn is very rewarding. This is a new season for me, and I am enjoying it.
Because of this my ‘blog writing’ time has been reduced. Actually it has stopped for several months now. I appreciate all the people who have still been reading even though there has been no new material.
During the next few days, I am going to attempt to post some updates for the people I have written about previously and then add some new material about families and cancer.
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